Why It Sucks To Be A Penis

1. You've got a hole in your head.
2. Your master strangles you all the time.
3. Your head is smaller than the rest of you.
4. You shrink in cold water.
5. You never get a haircut.
6. You always hang around with 2 nuts.
7. Your closest neighbor is an asshole.
8. Your best friend is a pussy.
9. Your scalp gets cut off if you're Jewish.
10. Everytime you get excited, you throw up.

Med Examination

A woman comes to a gynecologist for a checkup. She seems to be very embarrassed and uncomfortable."Haven't you been examined like this before?" asks the doctor. "Many times," she giggles, "but never by doctor!"

Newborn Baby

There was a baby born in the hospital and he weighed ten pounds. The odd thing about him was his body weighed five pounds and his balls weighed five pounds. All the nurses and even the doctor didn't know what to do with him. Then, the chief surgeon walked in and asked what was wrong. The head nurse replied, ''We don't know what to do with this baby.'' So the chief surgeon took one look and said, "You should put him into a mental institution." ''Why?' asked the head nurse. "Well," replied the chief surgeon, "take a look at him. The boy is obviously half nuts."