The F Word

Perhaps one of the most interesting and colorful words in the English language is the word "Fuck." It is the one magical word, which, just by it's sound describes pain, pleasure, love, and hate. In language, "Fuck" falls into many grammatical categories. It can be used as a verb, both transitive (John fucked Mary) and intransitive (Mary was fucked by John). It can be an active verb (Mary doesn't really give a fuck); or an adverb (Mary is really fucking interested in John); and as a noun, (Mary is a terrific fuck). It can be used as an adjective (Mary is fucking beautiful). As you see, there are very few words with the versatility of "Fuck." Besides It's sexual connotations, this incredible word can be used to describe many situations: It can be used in an anatomical description - "He's a fucking asshole." It can be used to tell time - "It's five fucking thirty." It can be used in business - "How did I end up with this fucking job?" It can be maternal - as in "Motherfucker."

Valuable Vocabulary Chart:
Greetings: "How the fuck are you?"
Fraud:"I got fucked by the car dealer."
Dismay: "Oh, fuck it."
Trouble: "Hell, I guess I'm fucked now."
Aggression: "Fuck you."
Disgust: "Fuck me."
Confusion: "What the fuck...?"
Difficulty: "I don't understand this fucking business."
Despair: "Fucked again."
Exasperation: "For fuck's sake."
Enjoyment: "This is fucking great."
Hostility: "I'm going to knock your fucking head off."
Stupidity: "Geir Bergerud is a Fuckwad!"
Incompetence: "He's such a fuck-up."
Ignorance: "Fuck if I know."
Displeasure: "What the fuck is going on here?"
Lost: "Where the fuck are we?"
Disbelief: "Unfuckingbelievable!"
Retaliation: "Up your fucking ass."
Surprise: "Fuckin A!"
Surprise: "Well, I'll be fucked."
Suspicion: "What the fuck are you doing?"
Contempt: "Fuck you and the horse you rode in on!"

Irish Confession

There once was a young Irish woman who went to confession. Upon entering the confessional she said, "Forgive me Father, for I have sinned." The priest said, "Confess your sins and be forgiven." The young woman said, "Last night my boyfriend made mad passionate love to me seven times." The priest thought long and hard and then said, "Take seven lemons and squeeze them into a glass and then drink it." The young woman asked, "Will this cleanse me of my sins?" The priest said "NO, but it will wipe the smile off of your face."

Cashew Fetish

I have a friend whose fetish is cashews. 
He's fucking nuts.