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Sex Jokes
New Apartment Welcome
A man moved into a new apartment, and he decided to go and check his mail. The next thing he knows, a beautiful woman is standing in front of him and she has a robe on and she opens it and the man notices she has nothing on underneath. He tries to keep eye contact with the girl while she is talking to him. All of a sudden she says, "I hear someone coming, let's go in my apartment." When they get in to her apartment, she lets her robe fall to the ground and asks the man, "Which part of my body do you like the best?" The guy replies, "Your ears." So she gets mad and asks, "Why my ears!? Look at this body! It's perfect! Look at these breasts -- they're real and they're mine! Look at this butt -- it's hard and firm! So why my ears?" The guy says, "Well, because the person you heard coming was me!"
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Condom Size Test
A guy goes into a drugstore to buy condoms. "What size?" asks the clerk. "Gee, I don't know." "Go see Sophie in Aisle 4." He goes over to see Sophie, who grabs him in the crotch and yells, "Medium!" Mortified, the guy hurries over to pay and quickly leaves. Another guy comes in to buy condoms and gets sent to Sophie in Aisle 4. Sophie grabs him and yells, "Large!" The guy struts over to the register, pays and leaves. A high school kid comes in to buy condoms. "What size?" Embarrassed, the kid says, "I've never done this before. I don't know what size." The clerk sends him over to Sophie. A few minutes later, Sophie yells, "Cleanup in Aisle 4!"
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Top 10 - Basketball vs Sex
TOP 10 REASONS BASKETBALL IS BETTER THAN SEX...
10. Ball movement is key
9. You can set it up or go for the fastbreak
8. If you need a break, you can call a 20 second timeout
7. There is a coach telling you when to "Take it to the hole"
6. Being double-teamed is common
5. You can pass it off, so your buddy can score
4. If scouts like your performance, you turn pro
3. You know you are done when the horn sounds
2. You always try to score within 24 seconds
1. There's always someone with a towel to clean up any wet spots
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