We're sorry, but it appears that you are using an anonymous proxy. To prevent fraudulent voting, we don't allow votes from anonymous proxies.

This contest requires users to be registered in order to vote.

You must be a registered user to submit a joke.  But registering is FREE and don’t worry, we only need a name and e-mail address, and we don’t sell or share your information with any third-parties (see Privacy Policy).

You must complete account validation before submitting jokes. Click here to go to your profile page to complete the process.

We’re sorry, but your browser settings indicate that you don’t want to be tracked.  You can either disable that setting or simply register for a FREE account, so we’ll know that you want us to track your preferences and feedback.  Don’t worry, we only need a name and e-mail address and we don’t sell or share your information with any third-parties (see Privacy Policy).


The best jokes and joke writers!

Long Time Ago

The general went to the doctor for a physical. Before he began, the doctor asked him the standard questions -- age, height, weight, and then he asked when was the last time the general had sex. "Oh..." he mused, "It was 1945." "Isn't that a long time to go without sex?" the doctor asked. "I don't think so. According to your clock it's only 21:13."

Little Johnny's Alphabet

Little Johnny is in class. The teacher is going through the alphabet, having each child think up a word that starts with a letter. They get to "W", and the teacher figures Little Johnny can't think up anything dirty with a "W" so she calls on him. "Womb!", Little Johnny says. "That's a good word, Johnny", teacher says. "Is that as in, where babies come from?" she asks. "No," says Johnny, "that's the sound elephants make when they're screwing, you know, 'Womb! Womb! Womb!"

Low Sex Drive

An extremely old man visits his doctor and tells him, "I need my sex drive lowered." The doctor, incredulous, says, "What?? You want your sex drive lowered?" To which the old man replies, "It's all in my head;  I need it LOWERED!"

G-Spot And Golf Ball

Q: What's the difference between a G-Spot and a golf ball?

A: A guy will actually search for a golf ball.

Wartime Confessions

This old guy goes into a church in a small town in the hills of Italy and asks the priest to hear his confession. The priest listens and then asks, "Is there anything else?'' The old guy says, ''During the war, when I was young, a beautiful German girl came to my farm after escaping and asked me if I would hide her. I told her I would if she provided me with sexual favors.'' The priest replies, ''Don't worry about it. It was wartime and you both were under a lot of pressure.'' The old guy says, ''Does that mean that I have to tell her that the war is over?''