Sex Jokes - Oral Sex Jokes

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Mermaid Rescue

An old man walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender notices the guy's head is the size of a cue ball. "I got to ask, sir," says the bartender. "What happened?" The old guy sighs and tells him, "My ship was torpedoed by the Germans in WWII. A mermaid rescued me and promised to grant me three wishes. For my first wish, I asked to return to the States. My second wish was to have all the money I would ever need. Finally, my third wish was to have sex with the mermaid." "That doesn't sound too bad," says the bartender. "Then what happened?" "Well," sighs the man, "mermaids can't have sex, so I asked her if I could just have a little head... ."

Categories: Genie Jokes , Sex Jokes (Oral Sex Jokes) , Word Play Jokes , Military Jokes
Anonymous

Three guys named Larry

Three ladies are sitting in a bar. All of them have husbands named Larry. One lady asks, "If you could name your husband after any soda pop, what would it be?" The first lady thinks for a minute and says, "Mountain Dew, because he can mount and do me anytime." The second lady thinks for awhile and finally says, "7-Up, because he has seven inches and can always get it up." The third lady thinks for a long time and finally says, "Jack Daniels." The other ladies look at her with a confused look and say, "Wait a minute, Jack Daniels is a hard liquor." The third lady says, "Yep, thats my Larry!"

Categories: Sex Jokes (Oral Sex Jokes) , Sexist Jokes (Men vs Women Jokes)
Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous

The Blondes Name their Boyfriends

Three blondes had boyfriends all named John and they kept getting confused. They decided to name them after sodas. The first girl said, "I'll call mine 7 Up, because he's seven inches and he's always up." The next girl said, "I'll call mine Mountain Dew, because he mounts me and knows exactly what to do." The last girl goes, "I'll call mine Jack Daniels." The other girls yelled at her and said, "That's not a soda! That's a hard licker!"

Categories: Sex Jokes (Oral Sex Jokes) , Sex Jokes (Private Parts) , Blonde Jokes (Dumb Blonde Jokes)
Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Submitted BY: dejakreutzberg