Sex Jokes - One Night Stand Jokes

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Tyra on Deserted Island

A regular guy and Tyra Banks are the only survivors of a shipwreck. They somehow find themselves on a deserted island. At first, Tyra wants nothing to do with the very average guy, but after a while they become friends, then lovers.
One day the guy asks Tyra to dress in his clothes and meet him on the other side of the island. Tyra is taken aback by the request, but eventually decides there is no harm in it and agrees. She waits for him on the beach, and he soon arrives. He runs up to her, breathless and excited.
"You'll never believe who I have been screwing!"

Categories: Sex Jokes (One Night Stand Jokes) , Pop Culture / Celebrity Jokes
Anonymous

Old Maid Sisters

There were 2 old-maid sisters... both virgins. It's Friday night and Gladys looks at Betty and says, "I'm not going to die a virgin... I'm going out and I'm not coming home 'til I've been laid!!" Betty says, "Well, make sure you're home by 10 so I don't worry about you." 10 o'clock rolls around and there's no sign of Gladys... 11 o'clock...12 o'clock... Finally about 15 after 1 the front door flies open. In runs Gladys... straight to the bathroom. Betty goes and knocks on the door, "Are you okay, Gladys??" No answer, so she opens the door and there sits Gladys with her panties around her ankles, legs spread, and her head stuck between her legs looking at herself. "What is it, Gladys??? What's wrong?" asks Betty. "Betty, it was 10 inches long when it went in... and 5 when it came out. When I find the other half you're gonna have the time of your life!!!"

Categories: Old Age Jokes (Old Age Sex Jokes) , Sex Jokes (One Night Stand Jokes)
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Anonymous

A Farmer's Fiddle

A pilot was forced to make a crash landing in a farmer's field. The farmer took the pilot back to the farmhouse, where the pilot noticed the farmer had a golden fiddle hanging above the fireplace. The two men were standing there talking when the farmer's wife came down the steps. The pilot couldn't believe how beautiful she was. "How can you trust her to be here by herself all day, while you go out and work the fields?" "I trust my wife," the farmer said. "She's never been unfaithful." "I'll make you a little bet. If I take your wife upstairs, she'll be unfaithful. If not, you can have my plane. But, if she is, I get your fiddle." "It's a deal." So, the pilot and the farmer's wife go upstairs. About a half hour passes, and the farmer picks up the fiddle and starts playing it.
"Be true to me, Be true to me, Be true for just one hour. Be true to me, Be true to me, And his airplane will be ours." Another fifteen minutes pass, and suddenly he sees his wife coming down the stairs. He asks her if she stayed true to him. She walked over, picked up the fiddle, started playing it.
"He kissed me on the lips, He kissed me on the tits, He kissed me in the middle. He kissed a spot that you forgot, and you lost your fucking fiddle."

Categories: Profession Jokes (Farmer Jokes) , Profession Jokes (Pilot Jokes) , Relationship Jokes (Cheater Jokes) , Sex Jokes (One Night Stand Jokes)
Anonymous