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The best jokes and joke writers!

Vaseline

My girlfriend used Vaseline on a hand job today.

I came three times in the shower trying to wash it off.

Bieber Fever

Q: What's worse than finding a Justin Bieber concert DVD in your boyfriend's bedroom?

A: Finding a box of tissues next to it.

Cucumber Stand

Three nuns went to a cucumber stand in an open market one day.  They asked how much the cucumbers were. The merchant said that they were 4 for a dollar. The nuns said okay.  The puzzled merchant asked why they needed four cucumbers when there were only three of them.  A nun answered back, "Well, we could always eat one."

Privacy Please

Got to respect pornstars, being able to have sex in front of a whole camera crew

I can't even masturbate if I know there is someone in the house

A Real Loser

Q: What's the definition of a real loser?

A: A guy who has a wet dream and gets HIV.