Sex Jokes - Masturbation Jokes

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Charlie Goes Home

Charlie was in a bar and three babes came up and started hitting on him. He asked if they wanted to come over to his house later. They agreed to come over at after they went home and got ready.
Charlie had a friend who worked in a drugstore, so he went to see him. He asked his friend if he had anything that would keep him hard all night long. The man laughed and handed him a bottle of pills instructing him not to take more than one. Once at home, Charlie figured with three women he should take three pills, so he gulped them down.
The next day Charlie showed up at the drugstore to see his friend. Asking for some liniment, he showed him his dick which was ripped to shreds. In disbelief, his friend asked if he was sure that he wanted to put liniment on his dick.
Charlie replied "No,I need it for my arms — the women never showed up!"

Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous

Cucumber Stand

Three nuns went to a cucumber stand in an open market one day.  They asked how much the cucumbers were. The merchant said that they were 4 for a dollar. The nuns said okay.  The puzzled merchant asked why they needed four cucumbers when there were only three of them.  A nun answered back, "Well, we could always eat one."

Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous

Two AA batteries

Woman goes into a hardware store and asks the clerk for two AA batteries. The clerk gestures with his fingers and says, "Come this way," and heads towards the back of the store. "If I could come that way," she tells the retreating clerk, "I wouldn't need the batteries."

Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous