Sex Jokes - Gay Jokes
I'm The Queen
The United Airline's passenger cabin was being served by an obviously gay flight attendant who seemed to put everyone into a good mood as he served them food and drinks. As the plane prepared to descend, he came swishing down the aisle and announced to the passengers, "Captain Marvey has asked me to announce that he'll be landing the big scary plane shortly, lovely people, so if you could just put up your trays, that would be super." On his trip back up the aisle, he noticed that a well-dressed, rather exotic looking woman hadn't moved a muscle. "Perhaps you didn't hear me over those big brute engines. I asked you to raise your trazy-poo so the main man can pitty-pat us on the ground." She calmly turned her head and said, "In my country, I am called a Princess. I take orders from no one." To which the flight attendant replied, without missing a beat, "Well, sweet-cheeks, in my country, I'm called a Queen, so I outrank you. Now put the tray up, Bitch."
An unconscious man arrives at a hospital. After a series of x-rays, the radiologist discovered the man had several plastic horses in his anus.
The doctors have declared his condition as "stable".
Abstain from Sex
A mother worries that her teenage daughter is having sex and might get pregnant, so she consults several parenting websites for advice. Later that evening, as her daughter prepares for a date, the mother sits down to talk with her. "I know you are adult enough to make the right decision about your body. But I want you to please try to abstain from sex until you're married. If you must have sex, then please use protection." Feeling proud of herself for being so pro-active, the mother hands her daughter a box of condoms. The daughter laughs and hugs her mother. "Oh Mom! You don't have to worry about that! I'm dating a girl!"
Little Tommy's Babysitter is Gay
10 year old Tommy comes home from daycare and tells his mom that he thinks his babysitter is gay. "Whatever makes you think THAT?!!?" says mom. Tommy replies, "Because his dick tasted like shit!"
Jessie James and his gang are attacking a train outside of Oklahoma City. As they go through each car, they line up the travelers and prepare to take all their loot. As Jesse entered the first car he yelled, "Okay, everybody, we're going to rape all the men and rob all the women!" Upon hearing this, his brother Frank turned to him and said, "ah, Jessie, don't you mean we're going to rob all the men and rape all the women?" With that said, a little fairy in the corner pops up and says..."Listen, you heard Jessie...he's the boss!"