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Sex Jokes
An American in Paris
The handsome American strode into a department store in Paris, France and headed straight for the lingerie counter. He intently studied the array of lacy underthings and the sales lady bustled over to him. "Do you have something in mind?" she asked. "I certainly do, ma'am," the American emphatically replied. "That's why I want a nice gift."
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Upmanship
An Australian, a Frenchman and an Italian are talking about married life. Italian: When I finish making love to my wife, I cover her head to toe in wine, then lick it off, and my wife, she goes wild. Frenchman: When I finish making love to my wife, I cover her head to toe in chocolate, then lick it off, and my wife, she goes wild. Aussie: When I finish making love to my wife, I get out of bed and wipe my dick on the curtains, and my wife...she goes wild!
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Slept Like an Animal
Three brothers are traveling along a road, and their car dies. They all get out of the car, and start walking to a barn that's a little ways away. When they get their, the farmer comes out of the barn, and offers them a room for one night. He says to the first one, "You can sleep with the pigs," the second guy, "you can sleep with the cows," and the third guy, "I like the cut of your jib. You can sleep with my 18 daughters." The next morning, he asks everyone how they slept. The first man said, "I slept like a pig." The second man said, "I slept like a cow." The third guy said, "I slept like a rabbit. I jumped from hole, to hole, to hole."
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