Sex Jokes

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Nuns at the Gate

So, four nuns die at about the same time, and are waiting at the pearly gates to consult St. Peter. He says, "Next!" He asks the first nun, "Before I let you into Heaven, I have to ask this: Have you ever come in contact with a penis?" The first nun says, embarrased, "Well, I was a nurse for a while, Mr. Peter, so, yes, I had to touch a few penises in my time..." St. Peter says, "No problem! Just wash your hands out in that there fountain of holy water, and go right in!" So the nun washes her hands, and the gates spring open, the music plays, and the first nun walks right in. Then St. Peter asks the second nun, "Have you ever come in contact with a penis?" The second nun says, embarrassed, "Well, once I was trying to convert some people, and I wandered into a movie theater by accident. There was a penis on the screen..." "Not to worry!" laughs St. Peter. "Just wash your eyes out in the fountain of holy water over there, and you're set!" So the nun washes her eyes, and the gates spring open, the music plays, and the second nun walks right in. Then St. Peter begins to ask the third nun. "Have you ever come in cont..." Suddenly, the fourth nun interrupts! "Um, Mr. Peter, I reeeaaaallly have to go first!" "Be patient, child, you'll have your turn," says St. Peter. He turns to the third one again. "Now, have you ever come in contact with..." "Mr. PETER!!!!" The fourth one screams. "I REALLY have to go first." "I'll ask you in just a moment! I have to ask this young lady first!" "NO WAY!" the fourth one says, practically fuming. "I'm not gonna wash out my mouth in that fountain after she washes her ass out in it!!"

Categories: Religion Jokes (Catholic Jokes) , Religion Jokes (Heaven Jokes) , Religion Jokes (Nun / Priest Jokes) , Sex Jokes (Private Parts)
Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous

A Condom And A Rattlesnake

What would you do if you had a condom with a hole in it in one pocket, and a rattle snake in the other pocket? I don't know either, but I do know that I wouldn't screw with either one of them.

Categories: Animal Jokes , Sex Jokes
Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous

Animals On a Toilet

Q: How many animals can you fit on a toilet?
A: One pussy and 1000 hares.

Categories: Animal Jokes , Sex Jokes (Private Parts) , Word Play Jokes (Private Parts) , Riddles
Anonymous