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Slogans for Safe Sex!
1. Cover your stump before you hump
2. Before you attack her, wrap your whacker
3. Don't be silly, protect your willy
4. When in doubt, shroud your spout
5. Don't be a loner, cover your boner
6. You can't go wrong when you shield your dong
7. If you're not going to sack it, go home & whack it
8. If you think she's spunky cover your monkey
9. If you slip between her things, be sure to condomize
10. It will be sweeter if you wrap your peter
11. She won't get sick if you wrap your dick
12. If you're going into heat, package your meat
13. When you're undressing your Venus, dress up your penis
14. When you take off her pants & blouse, slip up your trouser mouse
15. Especially in December, gift wrap your member
16. Never, ever deck her with an unwrapped pecker
17. Don't be a fool, vulcanize your tool
18. The right selection will protect your erection
19. Wrap it in oil before checking her oil
20. A crank with armor will never harm her
21. NO GLOVE NO LOVE!
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Athletic Sperm
Once upon a time in a place where little sperms grow, there was a super jock sperm who spent all his time working out. He did things like lifting weights and running, his most important duty. All the other sperm were very curious about his pastimes. "Why do you keep working out all the time," they asked. "Well," he said, "Of all us sperms, only one of us is going to make it to the egg. And that is going to be me." Well, the other sperms just floated around waiting for the day to cum (pardon the expression). And it did, and they were off! All those sperms racing along and far out in front of them was the super jock sperm, racing so fast and so hard that they couldn't see him any more, but they still kept cumming. Alas, then, away in the distance, they heard a loud piercing scream. They still kept cumming though. And then very shortly the super sperm appeared, screaming with all his might, "Go back, Go Back! IT'S A BLOW JOB!"
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Screwing Rooster
There was a farmer. He had a lot of chickens but had no roosters. So in order to get eggs he went and got a rooster. The man he got the rooster form told him that the rooster would screw everything in sight. But the farmer wanted the rooster anyway. So he took it home and it screwed all the chickens. After a while it started screwing all the other farm animals. So one day the farmer walked up to the rooster and said, "Ya better stop screwing everything or you will screw yourself to death!" But the rooster just kept on screwing. One day the farmer was walking through the field, and he found the rooster laying on the ground with buzzards flying all around. So he walked up to the rooster and said, "I told you you'd screw yourself to death!" then the rooster opened his eyes and said, "SHUT-UP! I'm trying to get them to land!"
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