Sex Jokes

JokerZ offers a HUGE collection of funny dirty jokes. Check out our professionally curated categories for hilarious adult jokes and sex jokes. Set your filter on Risque and Uncensored to browse dirty knock-knock jokes, inappropriate jokes and one liners from professional joke writers. Over 3000 of the best dirty jokes will have you ROFL. Share jokes anonymously with friends or post on social sites.

Frog Defense

I took a day off from work to play golf. I was on the fourth hole, when I discovered a small frog sitting on the green. I paid it no attention until I heard, "Ribbit. 9-iron." That's curious, I thought, but decided to trust the frog. I pulled out a 9-iron and sunk a hole-in-one. Amazed, I picked up the frog and asked where we should go next. "Ribbit. Vegas." We went to Vegas, and I asked the frog what we should do first. "Ribbit. Roulette." We went up to the roulette table, and I won big. I took my earnings and got the best room in the hotel. I asked the frog if there was anything I could do to repay it. "Ribbit. Kiss me." I figured, what the hell, and I kissed the frog. It turned into a 15-year-old girl. That's how she ended up in my room, your Honor, and if I'm lying, my name's not R. Kelly.

Categories: Genie Jokes , Animal Jokes (Frog Jokes) , Pop Culture / Celebrity Jokes , Sex Jokes (Rape Jokes)
Anonymous

Brothel Trouble

An old sailor goes to a brothel, where he chooses his girl and begins. "How am I doing?" He asks. "Three knots," she replies. "Three knots? What's that mean?" "You're not hard, you're not in, and you're not getting your money back."

Categories: Sex Jokes (Prostitute Jokes)
Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous

Big Smile

Mike walks into a bar and sees Pat sitting at the end of the bar with a great big smile on his face. Mike says, "Pat, what are you so happy about?"
"Well Mike, I gotta tell ya... Yesterday I was out waxin' my boat, just waxin' my boat, and a redhead came up to me.. tits out to here, Mike. Tits out to here! She says, "Can I have a ride in your boat?" I said, "Sure you can have a ride in my boat." So I took her way out, Mike. I turned off the key and I said, "It's either screw or swim! She couldn't swim, Mike. She couldn't swim!"
The next day Mike walks into a bar and sees Pat sitting at the end of the bar with a even bigger smile on his face. Mike says, "What are you happy about today Pat?" "Well Mike.... I gotta tell ya... Yesterday I was out waxin' my boat, just waxin' my boat and a BEAUTIFUL blond came up to me...tits out to here, Mike. Tits out to here! She said, "Can I have a ride in your boat?" I told her, "Sure you can have a ride in my boat." So I took her way out, Mike. Much further than the last one. I turned off the key and I said, "It's either screw or swim!" She couldn't swim, Mike! She couldn't swim!"
A couple days pass and Mike walks into a bar and sees Pat down there cryin' over a beer. Mike says, "Pat, what are you so sad about?" "Well Mike, I gotta tell ya.... Yesterday I was out waxin' my boat, just waxin' my boat, and the most desirable brunette came up to me... tits WAY out to here, Mike. Tits WAY out to here. She says, "Can I have a ride in your boat?" So I said, "Sure you can have a ride in my boat." So I took her way out, Mike, way WAY out... much further than the last two.
I turned off the key, and looked at her tits and said, "It's either screw or swim!" She pulled down her pants and.....She had a pecker, Mike! She had this great BIG pecker! ... and I can't swim Mike! I can't swim!

Categories: Ethnic / Country Jokes (Irish Jokes) , Sports Jokes (Boating Jokes) , Sex Jokes
Anonymous