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Sex Jokes
Getting A Date.
There was a loser who couldn't get a date. He went to a bar and asked this one guy how to get a date. The guy said, "It's simple. I just say, I'm a lawyer."So the guy went up to a pretty woman and asked her out. After she said "No," he told her that it was probably a good thing because he had a case early in the morning. She said, "Oh!!!! Your a lawyer?" He said, "Why,... Yes I am!" So they went to his place and when they were in bed, screwing, he started to laugh to himself. When she asked what was so funny, he answered,"Well, I've only been a lawyer for 15 minutes, and I'm already screwing someone!"
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Underwear is Important
Always wear clean underwear in public, especially when working under you vehicle... From the NORTHWEST FLORIDA Daily News comes this story of a Crestview couple who drove their car to Wal-Mart, only to have their car break down in the parking lot. The man told his wife to carry on with the shopping while he fixed the car in the lot. The wife returned later to see a small group of people near the car. On closer inspection, she saw a pair of male legs protruding from under the chassis. Although the man was in shorts, his lack of underpants turned private parts into glaringly public ones. Unable to stand the embarrassment, she dutifully stepped forward, quickly put her hand UP his shorts, and tucked everything back into place. On regaining her feet, she looked across the hood and found herself staring at her husband who was standing idly by. The mechanic, however, had to have three stitches in his forehead.
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Abstain from Sex
A mother worries that her teenage daughter is having sex and might get pregnant, so she consults several parenting websites for advice. Later that evening, as her daughter prepares for a date, the mother sits down to talk with her. "I know you are adult enough to make the right decision about your body. But I want you to please try to abstain from sex until you're married. If you must have sex, then please use protection." Feeling proud of herself for being so pro-active, the mother hands her daughter a box of condoms. The daughter laughs and hugs her mother. "Oh Mom! You don't have to worry about that! I'm dating a girl!"
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