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The Lone Ranger and Tonto
One day the Lone Ranger and his companion Tonto were walking through the desert when Tonto suddenly stopped, bent down to the ground and said, Buffalo Come!"
And the Lone Ranger said, "How do you know Tonto?"
Tonto replied, "Ear stuck to ground..."
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A Minister's Family
After his wife had a baby, the new minister appealed to the congregation for a salary increase to cover the addition to the family. The congregation agreed that it was only fair and approved it. When the next child arrived, the minister appealed, and again, the congregation approved the increase. Several years and five children later, the congregation voiced their unhappiness over the increasing expenses. The minister stood up and shouted "Procreation is an act of God!" An old man in the back stood and shouted back "So are rain and snow, but we wear rubbers for them!"
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Theater X
Q: Why is it so difficult to remodel XXX-rated theaters?
A: All the walls are load-bearing.
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