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Sex Jokes
Slut
Mary went to Jill's place to tell her about a horrible experience she'd had the previous night with this bloke she brought home. "Well, what happened when you got there?" Jill asked "The bastard called me a slut!" Mary said. "What did you do then?" Jill asked, shocked. "I told him to get the fuck out of my bedroom and take his eight mates with him!" Mary said.
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Measure Up
Four friends met up after a game of golf, and while one man went to get drinks, the other three spoke about how successful their sons are:
Guy 1: My son is so successful he owns a sports car dealership and just gave his best friend a Ferrari 488 GTB.
Guy 2: Thats nothing, my son runs Gulfstream and just gave his best friend a G650.
Guy 3: Well my son is more success than that, he owns an architecture firm and just gave his best friend a French Chateau.
Guy 4 walks back to the group of the other 3 guys.
Guy 4: Hey guys what are we talking about?
Guy 1: Oh, we are talking about how successful our sons are.
Guy 4: Well, my son is a Gay stripper.
Guy 2: You must be so disappointed. What caused him to be so unsuccessful in life?
Guy 4: Actually, he is doing very well for himself. He just got a new Ferrari, his own private jet, and a French castle from his three boyfriends.
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Sex Addict
A super hot chick walks into her church and says to the priest, "Forgive me Father, for I have sinned." The priest says, "Tell me dear, what's on your mind?" "Well Father, I am a sex addict, and lately I discovered that I like doing it with priests. I had sex with the one from the church two blocks from here, the one five blocks from here, and also the one from the church nearby." The priest says, "It's okay, just pray three times a day for one week and it will all be okay." As the girl tries to go out, the priest says, "Oh, and don't forget that I will always be here for you!"
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