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Sex Jokes
Gay Men and a Baby
Two gay men were partners for life and finally decided they wanted a child of their own. After weeks of consultation with doctors and psychiatrists the two decided to mix their sperm and implant it into a willing surrogate mother. Soon they learned that the procedure had worked and that the surrogate was pregnant and doing well. After the usual period of time they got the call they were waiting for... their baby was born!
So they rushed to the hospital to see the little one. Looking through the viewing glass they noticed several newborn girls in a row... all of which were crying and carrying on intensely. Then they spotted a cute little baby boy at the end of the row, smiling and looking at them with great joy... this little baby had to be theirs.
Soon they saw a nurse and she confirmed that yes, indeed the peaceful little boy was their son. They started congratulating each other, saying how lucky they are that they have such a perfectly happy well behaved son.
The nurse, hearing this, said "He may look happy now, but you should see him when we take the pacifier out of his ass!"
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Lite Beer & Canoes
Q: How can you compare a lite beer to making love in a canoe?
A: They're both fucking close to water!
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Not Specific Enough!
A man was visiting his wife in hospital where she has been in a coma for several years. On this visit he decides to rub her left breast instead of just talking to her. On doing this she lets out a sigh. The man runs out and tells the doctor who says this is a good sign and suggests he should try rubbing her right breast to see if there is any reaction. The man goes in and rubs her right breast and this brings a moan from her. The doctor suggests the man should go in and try oral sex, saying he will wait outside as it is a personal act and he doesn't want the man to be embarrassed. The man goes in then comes out about five minutes later, white as a sheet and tells the doctor his wife is dead. The doctor asks what happen to which the man replies: "She choked."
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