Universal Grade Change Form

____________________UniversityTo: Professor____________________ From: __________________I think my grade in your course, ___________________, should be changed from ______ to _______ for the following reasons:______
1. The persons who copied my paper made a higher grade than I did.______
2. The person whose paper I copied made a higher grade than I did.______
3. This course will lower my Grade Point Average and I won't get into:______ Law School______Medical School ______Graduate School______Dental School ______My Fraternity/Sorority______The Mickey Mouse Club ______Tri County Tech______
4. I have to get an A in this course to balance the F in_______________.
5. I'll lose my scholarship.______
6. I'm on a varsity sports team and my tutor couldn't find a copy of your exam.______
7. I didn't come to class and the person whose notes I used did not cover the material asked for on the exam.______
8. I studied the basic principles and the exam wanted every little fact.______
9. I learned all the facts and definitions but your exams asked about general principles._____
10. You are prejudiced against:______Males ______Jews ______Blacks______Females ______Catholics ______Whites______Protestants ______Moslems ______Minorities______Chicanos ______People ______Students_____
11. If I flunk out of school my father will disinherit me or at least cut my allowance._____
12. I was unable to do well in this course because of the following illness:______mono______broken baby finger______acute alcoholism______pregnancy______VD______fatherhood_____
13. You told us to be creative but you didn't tell us exactly how you wanted that done._____
14. I was creative and you said I was just shooting the bull._____
15. I don't have a reason; I just want a higher grade._____
16. The lectures were:______too detailed to pick out important points______not explained in sufficient detail______too boring______all jokes and not enough material______all of the above_____
17. This course was:______too early, I was not awake.______at lunchtime, I was hungry______too late, I was tired_____
18. My (dog, cat, gerbil) (ate, wet on, threw up on) my (book, notes, paper) for this course._____
19. Other_____

Grown Up Words

A teacher was teaching a class of five year olds and asked what they all did in the summer holidays. One boy said he got a ''choo-choo.'' The teacher said, "Please use the proper grown-up word for what you have done. The word is train." Another boy said he got a ''bow-wow.'' The teacher said please use the proper grown-up word for what you have done. The word is dog." Another boy said I got a ''Winnie the Shit.''

I Will Not

• I will not waste chalk...
• I will not skateboard in the halls...
• I will not burp in class...
• I will not draw naked ladies in class...
• I did not see Elvis...
• I will not call my teacher `Hot Cakes'...
• Garlic gum is not funny...
• They are laughing at me, not with me...
• I will not yell 'fire' in a crowded classroom...
• I will not encourage others to fly...
• I will not fake my way through life...
• Tar is not a play thing...
• I will not Xerox my butt...
• I will not trade pants with others...
• I will not do that thing with my tongue...
• I will not drive the principal's car...
• I will not pledge allegiance to Bart...
• I will not sell school property...
• I will not instigate revolution...