You Might Be A College Student

• If you average 3 hours of sleep a night
• If your trash is overflowing and your bank account isn't
• If you go to Wal-Mart more than 3 times a week
• If you are personally keeping the local pizza place from bankruptcy
• If you wake up 10 minutes before class
• If you wear the same jeans 13 days in a row -- without washing them
• If your breakfast consists of a coke on the way to class
• If your social life consists of a date with the library
• If it takes a shovel to find the floor of your room
• If you carry less than a dollar on your person
• If you haven't done laundry in so long you are wearing your swim suit to class
• If you celebrate when you find a quarter
• If your room is so cold that your toilet freezes over
• If you wear a sweat suit for so long that it stands up by itself
• If your backpack is giving you Scoliosis
• If you get more sleep in class than in your room
• If your idea of feeding the poor is buying yourself some Ramen Noodles
• If you can sleep through your roommate's blaring stereo
• If you live in an area that is smaller than most mobile homes
• If you get more e-mail than mail

Getting Bad

It's been getting bad out there. College grads are unemployed and can't get work. I saw a college grad selling their BA degree on eBay.

Nail In Experiment

During my freshman biology class at North High School in Springfield, Ohio, our teacher was lecturing on the conditions in which bacteria exist. Elaborating on the acidic environment where bacteria thrive, he suggested a simple experiment. "I want you to drop a nail into a glass of Coke or Pepsi, and then observe the acidic reaction on the nail," he said. The girl sitting next to me raised her hand and asked in all seriousness, "Do you mean a real nail, or a press-on?"
-- Contributed to "Tales Out of School" by Carolyn Stickney 