Proud Of Daddy

Three boys are in the schoolyard bragging about their fathers. The first boy says, "My dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a poem, and they give him $50."
The second boy says, "That's nothing. My dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a song, and they give him $100."
The third boy says, "I got you both beat. My dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, calls it a sermon, and it takes eight people to collect all the money!"

Mormon Kids

Q: Why do Mormon women stop having kids at 29?
A: Because 30 is too many!

A Nine Year Old in Church With Her Mother

A little nine year old girl was in church with her mother when she started feeling ill. "Mommy," she said. "Can we leave now?" "No," her mother replied. "Well, I think I have to throw up!" "Then go out the front door and to the back of the church and throw up behind a bush." In about two minutes the little girl returned to her seat. "Did you throw up?" her mother asked. "Yes," the little girl replied. "Well, how could you have gone all the way to the back of the church and return so quickly?" "I didn't have to go out of the church, Mommy." the little girl replied. "They have a box next to the front door that says, 'For the sick'."