What Denomination?

A Woman went to the Post Office to buy stamps for her Christmas cards. "What Denomination?", asked the clerk.  "Oh, good heavens! Have we come to this?" said the woman. "Well give me 50 Baptist and 50 Catholic!

Noah's Ark in an Apple

Q: Why didn't the two worms get on Noah's Ark in an apple?
A: Because everyone had to go on in pairs!

PMS and the Bible?

One day a woman went to her pastor and asked, "Pastor there are some things in life that aren't addressed in the Bible; how are we supposed to deal with them?  The Pastor responded, "There are no such things, give me an example of what you are talking about".  The woman responded, "PMS is not in the Bible". So the Pastor thought and told the woman to call back in the morning and he would have the answer.  The woman called the next morning and asked if the Pastor had an answer about PMS in the Bible.  The Pastor replied, "Yes, it's the part where Mary rides Joseph's ass all the way to Bethlehem!!!".