Clip Clop

Q: What goes: Clip Clop Clip Clop BANG Clipidy Clop Clipidy Clop?
A: An Amish drive-by shooting.

PMS and the Bible?

One day a woman went to her pastor and asked, "Pastor there are some things in life that aren't addressed in the Bible; how are we supposed to deal with them?  The Pastor responded, "There are no such things, give me an example of what you are talking about".  The woman responded, "PMS is not in the Bible". So the Pastor thought and told the woman to call back in the morning and he would have the answer.  The woman called the next morning and asked if the Pastor had an answer about PMS in the Bible.  The Pastor replied, "Yes, it's the part where Mary rides Joseph's ass all the way to Bethlehem!!!".

Two Black Eyes

A guy with two black eyes walks into church one Sunday. The priest notices him and is very concerned. "What happened, my child?" "I was singing in the choir, Father, and I noticed that the girl in front of me had a wedgie. So I pulled it out, and she punched me in the eye." "Okay. But how did you get the other black eye?" "Well, I thought I'd done something wrong. So I put her wedgie back."