A Nine Year Old in Church With Her Mother

A little nine year old girl was in church with her mother when she started feeling ill. "Mommy," she said. "Can we leave now?" "No," her mother replied. "Well, I think I have to throw up!" "Then go out the front door and to the back of the church and throw up behind a bush." In about two minutes the little girl returned to her seat. "Did you throw up?" her mother asked. "Yes," the little girl replied. "Well, how could you have gone all the way to the back of the church and return so quickly?" "I didn't have to go out of the church, Mommy." the little girl replied. "They have a box next to the front door that says, 'For the sick'."

What Denomination?

A Woman went to the Post Office to buy stamps for her Christmas cards. "What Denomination?", asked the clerk.  "Oh, good heavens! Have we come to this?" said the woman. "Well give me 50 Baptist and 50 Catholic!

Noah's Ark in an Apple

Q: Why didn't the two worms get on Noah's Ark in an apple?
A: Because everyone had to go on in pairs!