Morris' Confusion

Morris was passing a small courtyard and heard voices murmuring.  He went in and saw an altar with a large zero in the middle and a banner that said 'N I L'. White-robed people were kneeling before the altar chanting hymns to "The Great Nullity" ,"The Blessed Emptiness", and "The Big Zero in the Sky". Morris turned to a white-robed observer beside him and whispered, "Is Nothing Sacred?"

Clip Clop

Q: What goes: Clip Clop Clip Clop BANG Clipidy Clop Clipidy Clop?
A: An Amish drive-by shooting.

Answered Prayers

The Pastor asked if anyone in the congregation would like to express Praise for answered prayers. A lady stood and walked to the podium. She said, "I have a Praise. Two months ago, my husband, Phil had a terrible bicycle wreck and his scrotum was completely crushed. The pain was excruciating and the doctors didn't know if they could help him.."
You could hear a muffled gasp from the men in the congregation as they imagined the pain that poor Phil must have experienced.
"Phil was unable to hold me or the children," she went on, "and every move caused him terrible pain. We prayed as the doctors performed a delicate operation, and it turned out they were able to piece together the crushed remnants of Phil's scrotum and wrap wire around it to hold it in place...."
Again, the men in the congregation were unnerved and squirmed uncomfortably as they imagined the horrible surgery performed on Phil.
"Now," she announced in a quavering voice, "thank the Lord, Phil is out of the hospital and the doctors say that with time, his scrotum should recover completely." All the men sighed with relief. The Pastor rose and tentatively asked if anyone else had something to say. A man stood up and walked slowly to the podium. He said, "I'm Phil."
The entire congregation held its breath.......
"I just want to tell my wife that the word is sternum.