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The best jokes and joke writers!

Dog's Letters To God

  • Dear God, Why are there cars named after the jaguar, the cougar, the mustang, The colt, the stingray and the rabbit, but not ONE named for a dog? How often do you see a cougar riding around? We dogs love a nice ride! Would it be so hard to rename the Chrysler Eagle the Chrysler Beagle?
  • Dear God, Why do humans smell the flowers, but seldom, if ever, smell one another? Where are their priorities?
  • Dear God, When we get to heaven can we sit on your couch? Or is it the same old story?
  • Dear God, More meatballs, less spaghetti, please.
  • Dear God, Are there dogs on other planets or are we alone? I have been howling at the moon and stars for a long time, but all I ever hear back is the Schnauzer across the street.
  • Dear God, Are there mailmen in Heaven? If there are, will I have to apologize?

Blonde and Horse Brain Cells

Q: Why did God give blondes 2% more brains than horses?

A: So they don't crap on the street during parades!

Start Simple

Q: Why did God invent a man first?

A: He wanted to start with something simple.

So She Would Love You

Man says to God, "God, why did you make woman so beautiful?" God says, "So you would love her." "But God," the man says, "Why did you make her so dumb?" God replies, "So she would love you."

Day and Night

Q: What did God say after creating 24 hours of alternating darkness and light?

A: I think I'm going to call it a day.