We're sorry, but it appears that you are using an anonymous proxy. To prevent fraudulent voting, we don't allow votes from anonymous proxies.

This contest requires users to be registered in order to vote.

You must be a registered user to submit a joke.  But registering is FREE and don’t worry, we only need a name and e-mail address, and we don’t sell or share your information with any third-parties (see Privacy Policy).

You must complete account validation before submitting jokes. Click here to go to your profile page to complete the process.

We’re sorry, but your browser settings indicate that you don’t want to be tracked.  You can either disable that setting or simply register for a FREE account, so we’ll know that you want us to track your preferences and feedback.  Don’t worry, we only need a name and e-mail address and we don’t sell or share your information with any third-parties (see Privacy Policy).

The best jokes and joke writers!

Dog's Letters To God

  • Dear God, Why are there cars named after the jaguar, the cougar, the mustang, The colt, the stingray and the rabbit, but not ONE named for a dog? How often do you see a cougar riding around? We dogs love a nice ride! Would it be so hard to rename the Chrysler Eagle the Chrysler Beagle?
  • Dear God, Why do humans smell the flowers, but seldom, if ever, smell one another? Where are their priorities?
  • Dear God, When we get to heaven can we sit on your couch? Or is it the same old story?
  • Dear God, More meatballs, less spaghetti, please.
  • Dear God, Are there dogs on other planets or are we alone? I have been howling at the moon and stars for a long time, but all I ever hear back is the Schnauzer across the street.
  • Dear God, Are there mailmen in Heaven? If there are, will I have to apologize?

Blonde and Horse Brain Cells

Q: Why did God give blondes 2% more brains than horses?

A: So they don't crap on the street during parades!

Start Simple

Q: Why did God invent a man first?

A: He wanted to start with something simple.

So She Would Love You

Man says to God, "God, why did you make woman so beautiful?" God says, "So you would love her." "But God," the man says, "Why did you make her so dumb?" God replies, "So she would love you."

Day and Night

Q: What did God say after creating 24 hours of alternating darkness and light?

A: I think I'm going to call it a day.