What Denomination?

A Woman went to the Post Office to buy stamps for her Christmas cards. "What Denomination?", asked the clerk.  "Oh, good heavens! Have we come to this?" said the woman. "Well give me 50 Baptist and 50 Catholic!

Been Here Sooner

Two Christians have lived very good, and also very healthy lives. They die, and go to heaven. As they are walking along, marveling at the paradise around them, one turns to the other and says "Wow. I never knew heaven was going to be as good as this!" "Yeah," says the other. "And just think, if we hadn't eaten all that oat bran we could have got here ten years sooner."

Better Boy Prayer

A little boy was overheard praying: "Lord, if you can't make me a better boy, don't worry about it. I'm having a real good time like I am."