St Peter and the Three Nuns

Three Nuns died and were up at outside the gates of Heaven. St. Peter was there with them. St. Peter decided he needed to quiz each nun with adifferent question to see if they really desereved to go to Heaven. St. Peter asked the first nun, "Nun, who was the first man on earth?"
She replied, "That would be Adam." St. Peter let her through the gates.
St. Peter walked up to the second nun and asked her, "Nun, who was the first woman on earth?"
She replied, "That would be Eve." St. Peter let her through the gates.
St. Peter walked up to the third nun and asked her, "What was the last thing that Eve told Adam before they left Paradise?"
The nun was puzzled. She thought about it for a long time. "HHHHMMMM," she said aloud, "That's a hard one." St. Peter let her through the gates.

Church Hospitality

This priest was driving to his church when he saw two people bending over in the grass. He decided to see why. He walked over to them and asked what they were doing. The man said they were homeless and grass was the only thing they could eat. The priest said, ''You can eat over at the church.'' The woman said, ''We have nine children -- will there be enough?'' ''Oh yes, '' the priest replied, ''the grass is 2 1/2 inches taller over there.''

Monk of Few Words

A young Catholic priest decided to enter a monastery. He joined one particularly strict sect. The head monk told him, at his indoctrination, that they were sworn to TOTAL silence. They could not speak one word at all. However, every ten years, they would be permitted to speak two words.
After 10 years of total silence, the head monk indicated it was now time for him to speak his two words. The monk said, "Bed hard!" And then he resumed his silent study and work.
Another 10 years passed and the head monk again indicated it was time for him to speak his two words. The monk said, "Food bad!" And then he resumed his silent study and work.
Another 10 years passed and the head monk again indicated it was time for him to speak his two words. The monk said, "I quit!"
The head monk shook his head and said, "I knew this was coming. You've done nothing but complain for the past 30 years!"