Dirty Aliens

A married couple was walking down the street when an alien spacecraft landed in front of them. A married alien couple walked out and said, ''Hello, earthlings, we come in peace. We are scientists from the planet GRUDO-X and we want you to tell us all about your planet.'' So they talked for hours, until they came to the subject of sex. The humans told the aliens how humans have sex and the aliens were in shock! It was very similar to the way the aliens did it. The men in the group decided to have a little experiment with switching wives for a night. When the human woman saw the alien man undress, she immediately laughed at his ''thing.'' The alien looked down and said, ''Oh, I'm sorry. I forgot.'' And he hit his head twice and ''it'' grew at least two feet. The woman said ''Wow! That's impressive, but I could snap that thing if I wanted to.'' So the alien pulled his ears twice and it expanded. The two had the greatest sex of their lives. The next morning the human man came for his wife and asked, ''How was it?''
The wife replied, ''Great!'' The man said, ''Well, for some strange reason the alien woman kept jumping on me, pulling my ears and hitting me on the head, screaming, 'It's broken! It's broken!'''

Bigger is Better

My wife suggested i get a penis enlarger.
So I did, she's 21 and her name is Krystal.

Irish Mirror

After living in the remote countryside of Ireland all his life, an old Irishman decided it was time to visit Dublin. In one of the stores, he picks up a mirror and looks into it. Never having seen a mirror before, he remarked at the image staring back at him. 'How 'bout that! he exclaims, 'Here's a picture of my Fadder .'
He bought the mirror thinking it was a picture of his dad, but on the way home he remembered his wife didn't like his father, so he hung it in the shed, and every morning before leaving to go fishing, he would go there and look at it.
His wife began to get suspicious of his many trips to the shed. So, one day after her husband left, she went to the shed and found the mirror. As she looked into the glass, she fumed, 'So that's the ugly bitch he's running around with.'