Tom's dream was to marry a sweet, innocent virgin. He'd been going with Jane for a few months, when he decided to test her. As they drove along in the car, he unzipped his fly, turned to her and said, "Do you want to see my wee-wee?" She yelled,
"No! No! Please zip up your fly!" Instead of being annoyed, Tom was happy. On the eve of their engagement to be married, he tried the same thing, with the same result. Finally, on their wedding night, they were alone in the hotel room when he unzipped his fly again and said to her,
"Honey, now that we're married you can now look at what I've got here," and proceeded to take out his dick. She looked at it and said,
"Oh, what a sweet looking wee-wee!" Tom said,
"No darling--you don't have to call it a wee-wee anymore; you can call it a cock." She looked at it a while and then said,
"No, Tom, what you have 'is' a wee-wee." A 'cock' is long, thick, and black!!!
Newlywed Honeymoon Truths
A newlywed couple on their honeymoon gets to the hotel room. When they start to have sex, the wife says that she has something to confess. The husband says, "I will love you no matter what it is, tell me." So the wife tells him that she is actually extremely flat chested. The husband says, "I can deal with that." He takes off her shirt and shouts, "Boy! you are small, but I love you anyway." The husband says, "I have something to confess also." She says, "No matter what I will still love you." He says, "Okay. I am built like a baby down there." She says, "I can deal with that." So he pulls down his pants and his wife passes out! He fans her and she finally gets up. She says, "I thought you said you were built like a baby?"
He says, "Yeah.... 7lbs, 21inches."
Laughing & Weeping
Weeping bride, laughing wife; laughing bride, weeping wife.
Times Have Changed?
In olden times, it is reported that sacrifices were made at the altar... since then, weddings have been held there, and times haven't changed at all!
Q: Is it all right to bring a date to the wedding?
A: Not if you are the groom.