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Relationship Jokes - Marriage Jokes
Things Not To Say On Your Anniversary
10. I stopped caring about anniversaries when you stopped caring about cooking.
9. Today is our what?
8. Okay, let's celebrate, but do we have to celebrate together?
7. I thought we only celebrated important events?
6. You can celebrate anniversaries with your next husband.
5. You don't like what I pick out, so I thought why bother.
4. I got you a present worth a dollar for every time you were nice to me this year. Here's a $5 gift certificate for McDonald's.
3. If you want me to pretend like I care about our anniversary, I will.
2. You want to go out to dinner? Okay, okay, I'll take you to Pizza Hut if it'll shut ya up.
1. I thought you only had to celebrate anniversaries while you were still in love.
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Sex With The Pig
A farmer walks into his bedroom carrying a sheep under his arm. He walks over to his wife, who's laying in bed. "See!" he yells, "this is the pig I have to have sex with whenever you get one of your headaches!" The wife says, "You know that's a sheep under your arm, don't you?" The farmer says, "I wasn't talking to you."
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Skin Them
A New Yorker married a southern gal and brought her to the big city for the first time. When they first arrived he got them a hotel room and as they were lying in bed she looked over in the corner and saw a discarded condom, "Oh yuck!!" she proclaimed as she pointed it to her new husband. As he craned his neck to see what it was he looked at her and asked "What they don't use those things where you come from?" "Yeah," she said "but we don't skin 'em!"
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