Relationship Jokes - Marriage Jokes

Prize Convertible

There was this boy in high school that was what you would consider a nerd. Anyway he had his own lab in the basement of his home and one night he came up and said, "Dad look what I made." So he poured a flask of fluid into a pot of soil and instantly grass started to grow.
Of course his dad was really impressed with this and asked his son if he can make something to make his penis grow.
His son thought for a minute and said that if he did then dad would have to buy him a convertible. Dad agreed.
The next night the son came out of the basement and gave his dad a vial. The next morning his father came to him and told him that he had something to show him. They went to the front yard and the boy saw a cherry red ferrari.
The son looked at his dad and said, "I only asked for a convertible."
The dad replied, "The convertible is in the garage. The Ferrari is from your mother."

Categories: Sex Jokes , School Jokes (High School Jokes) , Jokes about Families (Father Jokes) , Jokes about Families (Mother Jokes) , Relationship Jokes (Marriage Jokes)
Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous

Life Insurance Thoughts

My wife and I took out life insurance on each other, so now it's just a waiting game!

Categories: Funny Thoughts , Relationship Jokes (Marriage Jokes) , Dark Humor Jokes (Death Jokes)
Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Submitted BY: ojcazares

Dear Diary

Wife's Diary:
Tonight, I thought my husband was acting weird. We had made plans to meet at a nice restaurant for dinner. I was shopping with my friends all day long, so I thought he was upset at the fact that I was a bit late, but he made no comment on it. Conversation wasn't flowing, so I suggested that we go somewhere quiet so we could talk. He agreed, but he didn't say much.
I asked him what was wrong; He said, 'Nothing..' I asked him if it was my fault that he was upset. He said he wasn't upset, that it had nothing to do with me, and not to worry about it. On the way home, I told him that I loved him. He smiled slightly, and kept driving. I can't explain his behavior. I don't know why he didn't say, 'I love you, too.'
When we got home, I felt as if I had lost him completely, as if he wanted nothing to do with me anymore. He just sat there quietly, and watched TV. He continued to seem distant and absent. Finally, with silence all around us, I decided to go to bed. About 15 minutes later, he came to bed. But I still felt that he was distracted, and his thoughts were somewhere else. He fell asleep; I cried. I don't know what to do. I'm almost sure that his thoughts are with someone else. My life is a disaster.

Husbands Diary:
A two-foot putt... who the hell misses a two-foot putt?

Categories: Relationship Jokes (Marriage Jokes) , Sports Jokes (Golf Jokes)
Anonymous