How Did He Look?

A woman went to her shrink because she was having severe problems with her sex life. The psychiatrist asked her many questions, but did not seem to be getting a clear picture of her problems. Finally he asked, "Do you ever watch your husband's face while you are having sex?" "Well, yes, I actually did once." "And how did your husband look?" "Angry, very angry." At this point the psychiatrist felt that he was really getting somewhere and he said, "Well that's very interesting, we must look into this further. Now tell me, you say that you have only seen your husband's face once during sex, that seems somewhat unusual. How did it occur that you saw his face that time?" "He was looking through the window at us!"

Good News, Bad News, Worse News

Good News: You came home for a quickie.
Bad News: The postman had the same idea.
Worse News: You have to wait.

Olympic Condoms

A husband says to his wife, "My Olympic condoms have arrived. I think I'll wear gold tonight." The wife replies, "Why not wear silver and come second for a change?"