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The best jokes and joke writers!

Lottery

A husband says to his wife, “What would you do if I won the lottery?”

She says, “I would take half and then leave you.”

“Excellent,” he replies. “I won $12. Here’s $6. Now get the f*ck out.”

Apologetic Spouse

"Mrs. Riley, you say you divorced your husband 6 years ago, but you have a newborn infant and children 1, 2, 3, and 4 years old. How come?"

"Well, every year, he comes back to apologize."

Good News, Bad News, and Worse News

Good News: Your wife's not talking to you

Bad News: She wants a divorce

Worse News: She's a lawyer

Great Housekeeper

My ex-wife was a great housekeeper

When we got divorced she kept the house

Housekeepers

Regardless of what you may hear, there's still many women these days who are excellent "housekeepers". Seems each time they get a divorce, they keep the house.