Marital Bliss

I married a beautiful woman - a smart one too.
Hopefully they’ll never meet.

Always Been a Doubt

A man is talking to his best friend about married life. "You know", he says, "I really trust my wife and I think she has always been faithful to me.  But there's always that doubt."  His friend says, "Yeah, I know what you mean."
A couple of weeks later the man has to go out of town on business.  Before he goes, he gets together with his friend.  "While I'm away, could you do me a favor?  Could you watch my house and see if there is anything fishy going on?  I mean, I trust my wife but there's always that doubt."  The friend agrees to help out and the man leaves town. 
Two weeks later he comes back and meets his friend. "So did anything happen?".  "I have some bad news for you," says the friend. "The day after you left I saw a strange car pull up in front of your house.  The horn honked and your wife ran out and got into the car and they drove away.  Later, after dark, the car came back.  I saw your wife and a strange man get out.  They went into the house and I saw a light go on, so I ran over and looked in the window.  Your wife was kissing the man.  Then he took off his shirt.  Then she took off her blouse. Then they turned off the light."  "Then what happened?", says the man. "I don't know. It was too dark to see.", he replied.   "Damn, you see what I mean? There's always that doubt."

In Good Hands?

All the good knights were leaving for the Crusades. One knight told his best friend - "My bride is without doubt one of the most beautiful women in the world. It would be a terrible waste if no man could have her. Therefore, as my best and most trusted friend, I am leaving you the key to her chastity belt to use should I not return from the Crusade." The company of knights were only a mile or so out of town when they noticed a cloud of dust approaching. Thinking it might be an important message from the town the column halted. A horseman approached. It was the knight's best friend. He yells; "Hey! You gave me the wrong key!"