Relationship Jokes

Roving Eyes

My girlfriend and I were in a restaurant and this strikingly attractive woman in a short black dress walked by. My eyes couldn't help but follow her as she passed by our table. My girlfriend glared at me and snapped, "So, do you want to date her?" To which I stuttered, "Ummmm...1968, perhaps?"

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Anonymous

Young Wife

A 70 year old rich guy goes to the bar with his gorgeous 25 year old wife! The bartender asked him, "Why did she marry you?" The old rich guy replied, "I lied about my age!"
Bartender: " You said 45?"
Old rich guy: "No! I said 90!"

Anonymous

50 Shades

My wife says we should spice up our sex life with some stuff from 50 Shades of Grey.
First, she wants me to become a billionaire.

Anonymous