Helpful Wedding Hints

Avoid social blunders with these helpful wedding hints:

• Livestock usually is a poor choice for a wedding gift.
• Is it okay to bring a date to a wedding? Not if you are the groom.
• When dancing, never remove undergarments; no matter how hot it is.
• Kissing the bride for more than 5 seconds may get you cut.
• A bridal veil made of window screen is not only cost-effective, but also a proven fly deterrent.
• For the groom, at least rent a tux.
• A leisure suit with a cummerbund and a clean bowling shirt can create a nice appearance.
• Though uncomfortable, say yes to socks and shoes for this special occasion.

Spouse Insomnia

Q: If an accountant's spouse cannot sleep, what is the best cure?
A: Ask the accountant to talk about their work.

Got it All

My girlfriend has everything I look for in a woman.
Tits and a pulse