Two Guys At The Bar

Two guys were at a bar talking about how highly their wives thought of them. The first guy said, "My wife, she thinks so much of me that she won't let me do any work around the house. It's incredible!" The second guy says, "That's nothing. My wife thinks I'm God!" "She thinks you're God? What makes you say that?" "Easy... every night she places a burnt offering before me!"

Making Men Fear Marriage

The British had an organization that Americans are now considering adopting. In England, they had a men's club, named Bachelors Anonymous. It was highly successful in making men fear, or even hate, marriage. The club provided a unique way to treat the problem of bachelors wanting to marry. They send over a mother-in-law in her nightgown, hair curlers, and a mud pack.

Cheating

I've been single for so long now, if I got a girlfriend I'd feel like I was cheating on my hand