Almost Marry

There is something magical about the fact that success almost always comes faster to the guy your wife almost married.

85 and 16

Jake is 85, and he gets married to a 16-year-old. He walks into the local bar when he gets back from his honeymoon, and all the guys want to hear about his wedding night. Jake says, "Well, when we got to the hotel, my youngest son carried me up the stairs, undressed me, and lifted me onto the bed with my bride, so she and I could spend the night together. The next morning all three of my sons came upstairs and lifted me off of her." The bartender says, "Why did it take three sons to get you off?" Jake says, "I fought 'em."

Happy Birthday Dear

My wife is wonderful!  It's my birthday and she just surprised me with a $250K life insurance policy and a two week trip to China. What a great gal!