Front Desk Call

A man calls the hotel front desk. "Hello how I may I be of assistance sir?"
"I NEED YOU TO SEND SOMEONE TO MY ROOM RIGHT AWAY."
"Calm down Sir, what seems to be the problem?" "My wife is trying to jump out of the window..." "Oh that sounds like a personal matter, I'm afraid we cannot involve ourselves."
"Listen here you smart-ass, the window isn't opening up and that's a maintenance matter!"

The Smack

All of a sudden, the wife smacks her husband. The husband was totally dumfounded and asks, "What was that for?"  Wife said, "Because, you are a bad fuck". Couple of minutes later, the husband smacks his wife. This time, the wife was confused and asked, "And may I ask what's that about?" Husband said, " Simple, because you know the difference."

Twisted

My best friend ran away with my wife.... 
I miss him.