Trebuchet Toss

My wife beamed at me with pride and said, “Wow! I never thought our son would go that far!“
I said, “This trebuchet is amazing! Go get our daughter.”

Redneck Gets Married

This redneck gets married, but on his wedding night he doesn't know what to do. He's fumbling around for a while, but finally his wife gets fed up and says, "Jeb, ya big idiot! Yer s'pposed to take that thing you play with and put it where I pee!"
So he got his bowling ball and threw it in the outhouse!

You Might Be a Redneck If... Collection 39

You might be a redneck if...

• You can chew your own toenails.
• You've ever used an inner-tube patch on your jeans.
• You want the opening day of deer hunting season to be declared a national holiday.
• Someone knocks on your front door and your back door rattles.
• You let goldenrod grow in your yard because it looks so pretty.
• You've ever absent-mindedly nibbled on your live bait... and didn't spit it out.
• Your best Sunday clothes include your John Deere baseball cap.
• You go to a wedding or any formal party and ask someone to pull your finger.
• Your friend tells you he went online last night, and you think he took a drunk driving test.
• Your mama has more tattoos than you do.