Washington Bar

A black guy, an illegal alien, a Muslim, and a communist walk into a bar. The bartender asks,"What can I get you , Mr. President ?

Democrats on the Front Porch

This little old lady calls 911. When the operator answers she yells, "Help, send the police to my house right away! There's a damn Democrat on my front porch and he's playing with himself."
"What?" the operator exclaimed.
"I said there is a damn Democrat on my front porch playing with himself and he's weird; I don't know him and I'm afraid! Please send the police!" the little old lady repeated.
"Well, now, how do you know he's a Democrat?"
"Because, you damn fool, if it was a Republican, he'd be screwing somebody!"

President Clinton's House

Q: Did you hear that former President Clinton is buying a house in North Carolina?
A: He can't decide which city to live in: Blowing Rock or Morehead City.