Under a Rock

Man: "So, wanna go back to my place?"
Woman: "Well, I don't know. Will two people fit under a rock?"

Female Comebacks

Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before?
Woman: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore.
 
Man: Is this seat empty?
Woman: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.
 
Man: Your place or mine?
Woman: Both. You go to yours, and I'll go to mine.
 
Man: So, what do you do for a living?
Woman: I'm a female impersonator.
 
Man: Hey baby, what's your sign?
Woman: Do not enter.
 
Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning?
Woman: Unferrtilized.
 
Man: Your body is like a temple.
Woman: Sorry, there are no services today.
 
Man: I would go to the end of the world for you.
Woman: But would you stay there?
 
Man: If I could see you naked, I'd die happy.
Woman: If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.

I'd Love To But... (Pt III)

More goofy excuses you can use to get out of going somewhere you just don't wanna go to. I'D LOVE TO BUT:

• I have to go to court for kitty littering.
• I have to jog my memory.
• I have to knit some dust bunnies for a charity bazaar.
• I have to rotate my crops.
• I have to sit up with a sick ant.
• I have to stay home and see if I snore.
• I have to study for a blood test.
• I have to thaw some karate chops for dinner.
• I prefer to remain an enigma.
• I think you want the OTHER (fill in your name here).
• I'm going to be old someday.
• I'm going to count the bristles in my toothbrush.
• I'm going to the Missing Persons Bureau to see if anyone is looking for me.
• I'm having my baby shoes bronzed.
• I'm trying to cut down.
• I'm up to my eardrums in waxy buildup.
• I've been traded to Cincinnati.
• My Dress For Obscurity class meets then.
• Mmy favorite commercial is on TV.
• My uncle escaped... again.
• Oooo, having fun gives me prickly heat.