We're sorry, but it appears that you are using an anonymous proxy. To prevent fraudulent voting, we don't allow votes from anonymous proxies.

This contest requires users to be registered in order to vote.

You must be a registered user to submit a joke.  But registering is FREE and don’t worry, we only need a name and e-mail address, and we don’t sell or share your information with any third-parties (see Privacy Policy).

You must complete account validation before submitting jokes. Click here to go to your profile page to complete the process.

We’re sorry, but your browser settings indicate that you don’t want to be tracked.  You can either disable that setting or simply register for a FREE account, so we’ll know that you want us to track your preferences and feedback.  Don’t worry, we only need a name and e-mail address and we don’t sell or share your information with any third-parties (see Privacy Policy).


The best jokes and joke writers!

Friday Night Pick-up Lines - Wise Woman

Man: "You know, I'd really love to travel to exotic places with you."

Woman: (tries to ignore him)

Man: "You know what? I also love sex. What do you say to that?"

Woman: "Hmmm...you really love sex and travel?"

Man: (nods his head smiling)

Woman: "Then go take a fuckin' hike!!!"

Save Your Breath Rejection

Save your breath. You'll need it to blow up your date!

Want to Dance?

A man with a wooden eye was sitting at a bar one night. He glanced across the room and noticed a very attractive woman with just one flaw, she had a very large nose. He was very self conscious about his eye but got up the nerve to ask her for a dance. "Would you like to dance with me?" he asked. She replied "Would I!", and he sneered and told her, "BIG NOSE!"

Perfect Guy

This guy says, 'I'm perfect for you, because I'm a cross between a macho and a sensitive man.' I said, 'Oh, a gay trucker?'

Looking for Love

This guy was trying to pick up this girl, and she said to him, "Can you pound a railroad spike through a 2x4 with your hard-on?" To which he merely shudders a negative. She says, "Well, a girl's gotta have her standards."