Definition of a Successful Date

Age - Definition of successful date
17  -"Burger King"
25  -"Free meal"
35 - "A diamond"
48 - "A bigger diamond"
66 - "Home Alone"

Elderly Man at the Brothel

An elderly man goes into a brothel and tells the madam he would like a young girl for the night. Surprised, she looks at the ancient man and asks how old he is. "I'm 90 years old," he says.
"90!" replies the woman. "Don't you realize you've had it?"
"Oh, sorry," says the old man, "how much do I owe you?"

Henry's Cork

"Look at me," an elderly Yuppie boasted to his guests at his birthday bash. "I've aged like a fine old carefully stored wine." "I certainly have to agree with that." piped-up his obviously long suffering wife. "Henry's cork's been stationary for years."