Old Age Jokes

Distraught

The wife of an older man is distraught because her husband's um... little sailor can't salute anymore. She goes to her local doctor and explains the situation and the doctor just feels plain bad for her.
The doc thinks for a little bit, turns to the woman and says, "listen, I don't do this for everyone, but since your husband's on his way out... Get this prescription, and put three drops in his milk before he goes to bed." The wife is very happy and thanks the doc profusely.
Two weeks later, the doctor sees the woman and asks how it went. The lady blushes, smiles and says, "well, I put thirty drops in his milk by accident, and well, we just need an antidote now to close the coffin."

Categories: Disease / Afflictions Jokes (Going to Die Jokes) , Old Age Jokes (Old Age Sex Jokes) , Sex Jokes (Viagra Jokes) , Dark Humor Jokes (Casket Jokes)
Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous

Tested for HIV

Seems this elderly couple went to the clinic and asked to be tested for HIV.
When the counselor asked why they felt that they should be tested at their age, the old man said, "Well, we heard on TV that people should be tested after annual sex!"

Categories: Old Age Jokes (Hearing Jokes) , Old Age Jokes (Old Age Sex Jokes) , Disease / Afflictions Jokes (STD Jokes)
Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous

Biting Nails

Two golden-agers were discussing their husbands over tea. "I do wish that my Elmer would stop biting his nails. He makes me terribly nervous." "My Billy used to do the same thing," the older woman replied. "But I broke him of the habit." "How?" "I hid his teeth."

Categories: Old Age Jokes
Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous