Bosses, And Technology

Boss: "My laptop computer is locked up. Can you help?"
Dilbert: "Remember you have to hold it upside down and shake it to reboot.
"Boss: "Oh, that's right."
Wally: "I wonder if he'll ever realize we gave him an "Etch-A-Sketch."

What is Your Name?

The manager of a large office noticed a new man one day and told him to come into his office. "What is your name?" Was the first thing the manager asked the new guy.
"John," the new guy replied.
The manager scowled, "Look, I don't know what kind of a mamby-pamby place you worked at before, but I don't call anyone by their first name! It breeds familiarity and that leads to a breakdown in authority. I refer to my employees by their last name only -- Smith, Jones, Baker -- that's all. I am to be referred to only as Mr. Robertson. Now that we got that straight, what is your last name?"
The new guy sighed and said, "Darling. My name is John Darling."
"Okay, John, the next thing I want to tell you is..."

Downsizing

Boss: (to employee) Experts say that humor on the job relieves tension in this time of down-sizing.
Knock, knock, Employee: Who's there? Boss: Not you anymore.