Business One Liners - O

• Old programmers never die, they just abend.
• On a beautiful day like this, it's hard to believe anybody can be unhappy; but we will work on it.
• On successive charts of the same organization, the number of boxes will never decrease.
• One child is not enough, but two children are far too many.
• One good thing about repeating your mistakes is that you know when to cringe.
• One machine can do the work of fifty ordinary men. No machine can do the work of one extraordinary man. - Elbert Hubbard
• One of the greatest labor-saving inventions today is tomorrow.
• One of those days? I have one of those lives.
• One seventh of your life is spent on Mondays. 

Initializing on PC

An unfailingly polite lady called to ask for help with a Windows installation that had gone terribly wrong.
Customer: "I brought my Windows disks from work to install them on my home computer." (Training stresses that we are "not the Soft-ware Police," so I let the little act of piracy slide.)
Tech Support: "Umm-hmm. What happened?"
Customer: "As I put each disk in it turns out they weren't initialized.
"Tech Support: "Do you remember the message exactly, ma'am?"
Customer:(proudly) "I wrote it down. 'This is not a Macintosh disk. Would you like to initialize it'?"
Tech Support: "Er, what happened next?"
Customer: "After they were initialized all the disks appeared to be blank. And now I brought them back to work, and I can't read them in the A: drive; the PC wants to format them. And this is our only set of Windows disks for the whole office. Did I do something wrong?"

10 Business One Liners F-G

1. For every problem, there is a neat, plain solution...and it is always wrong.
2. For every vision, there is an equal and opposite revision.
3. Four-wheel-drive just means getting stuck in more inaccessible places.
4. Free advice costs nothing until you act upon it.
5. Free time which unexpectedly becomes available will be wasted.
6. Freud's 23rd law: ideas endure and prosper in inverse proportion to their soundness and validity.
7. Friends come and go, but enemies accumulate.
8. Frustration is not having anyone to blame but yourself.
9. Genius is 1% inspiration, and 99% perspiration.
10. Geologists do not dress for success unless they are trying to convince others that they are going on interviews.