Work & Office Jokes

Things To Say If Caught Sleeping At Your Desk

5. The blood bank mentioned this might happen.
4. Someone must have put decaf in the wrong pot.
3. Unbelievable; I thought that cold medicine said DAYTIME!
2. Whew! Guess I left the top off that liquid paper.
1. Amen!

Categories: Work & Office Jokes , Profession Jokes , Funny Thoughts , Word Play Jokes
Anonymous

Top Do Nots at the Office Christmas Party

The Top Don'ts At The Office Christmas Party:

  • Don't go up to your boss and make the comparison of him with Santa because he's fat, jolly and only works one day out of the year.
  • Don't put your boss in a sleeper hold just to bargain for a better salary.
  • Don't offer anyone a hit from your Egg-Nog funnel.
  • Don't call your best client and tell him how much you fudged his books by just so you could throw this party in the first place.
  • Don't chase the secretary around with mistletoe and an eggbeater.
  • Don't tell your boss that you're the one that runs the company. 

Categories: Holiday Jokes (Christmas Jokes) , Work & Office Jokes (Office Party Jokes)
Anonymous

Business One - Liners 12

Oliver's Law of Location: No matter where you go, there you are.
Orben's Packaging Discovery: For the first time in history, one bag of groceries produces two bags of trash.
Osborn's Law: Variables won't, constants aren't.
Ozman's Laws: (1) If someone says he will do something "without fail," he won't. (2) The more people talk on the phone, the less money they make. (3) People who go to conferences are the ones who shouldn't. (4) Pizza always burns the roof of your mouth.
O'Reilly's Law of the Kitchen: Cleanliness is next to impossible
O'Toole's Commentary On Murphy's Law: Murphy was an optimist.
Parkinson's Laws: First Law - Work expands to fill the time available for its completion.

  • Second Law - Expenditures rise to meet income.
  • Fourth Law - The number of people in any working group tends to increase regardless of the amount of work to be done.
  • Law of Committees - The amount of time spent by a committee on an agenda item is inversely proportional to the cost of the item.
  • Fifth Law - If there is a way to delay in important decision, the good bureaucracy, public or private, will find it.
  • Sixth Law - Action expands to fill the void created by human failure. 

Categories: Work & Office Jokes , One-Liner Jokes
Anonymous