Work & Office Jokes

My coworker was eating an ice cream cone on her lunch break when she caught me staring at her. "Hey what's up?" she said. "Oh nothing, it's just that I want to ask for something but I'm afraid you'll misunderstand me," I replied. "Haha don't worry, I won't," she said reassuringly.

"I wanna lick it," I said. She quickly extends the ice cream cone to me, to which I said, "I knew you'd misunderstand."

Boss: "Johnson, we're giving you a promotion but you have to move to Montreal."

Johnson: "Montreal! Nothing comes from there except hookers and hockey players!"

Boss: Listen pal, my wife comes from there!

Johnson: Without missing a beat replies, "No kidding! What position does she play?"

Several weeks after a young man had been hired, he was called into the personnel director's office. "What is the meaning of this?" the director asked. "When you applied for this job, you told us you had five years experience. Now we discovered this is the first job you've ever held. "Well," the young man replied "in your advertisement you said you wanted somebody with imagination."

Boss asks secretary "Do you know what the difference is between a Caesar Salad and a blowjob?" "No", says the secretary. "Great, let's do lunch." the boss says.

A woman phones up her husband at work for a chat. . . .Says He: "I'm sorry honey but I'm up to my neck in work today" Says She: "But I've got some good news and some bad news for you dear." Says He: "OK darling, but since I've got no time now, just give me the good news, OK?" Says She: "Well, the air bag works..."