Twenty VPs in a Mini-van

Q: How do you get 20 vice presidents in a mini-van?
A: Promote one and watch the other 19 crawl up his ass.

When the staff goes out after work, they talk about...

When the staff goes out after work, they talk about football or basketball. When Middle management gets together, they talk about tennis or baseball. Top management discusses golf. Conclusion: The higher up you are in management, the smaller your balls are.

George Costanza's Tips for Working Hard I

 I never walk down the hall without a document in my hands. People with documents in their hands look like hardworking employees heading for important meetings. People with nothing in their hands look like they're heading for the cafeteria. People with a newspaper in their hand look like they're heading for the toilet. Above all, make sure you carry loads of stuff home with you at night, thus generating the false impression that you work longer hours than you do.