We're sorry, but it appears that you are using an anonymous proxy. To prevent fraudulent voting, we don't allow votes from anonymous proxies.

This contest requires users to be registered in order to vote.

You must be a registered user to submit a joke.  But registering is FREE and don’t worry, we only need a name and e-mail address, and we don’t sell or share your information with any third-parties (see Privacy Policy).

You must complete account validation before submitting jokes. Click here to go to your profile page to complete the process.

We’re sorry, but your browser settings indicate that you don’t want to be tracked.  You can either disable that setting or simply register for a FREE account, so we’ll know that you want us to track your preferences and feedback.  Don’t worry, we only need a name and e-mail address and we don’t sell or share your information with any third-parties (see Privacy Policy).


The best jokes and joke writers!

Sure Sign That You're Broke

  1. American Express calls and says: "Leave home without it!"
  2. Your idea of a 7-course meal is taking a deep breath outside a restaurant.
  3. You're formulating a plan to rob the food bank.
  4. You've rolled so many pennies, you've formed a psychic bond with Abe Lincoln.
  5. Long distance companies don't call you to switch.
  6. You look at your roommate and see a large fried chicken in tennis shoes.
  7. You rob Peter...and then rob Paul.
  8. You finally clean your house, hoping to find change.
  9. You think of a lottery ticket as an investment.
  10. Your bologna has no first name.
  11. You give blood everyday...just for the orange juice.
  12. Sally Struthers sends you food.
  13. McDonald's supplies you with all your kitchen condiments.
  14. At communion you go back for seconds.

Yo Mama - Haircut

Yo mama so poor, she joined the Army to get a haircut.

Shorts in the Shower

Q: Why do priests wear shorts in the shower?

A: They don't like to look down on the unemployed.

Yo Mama - Cigarette

Yo mama so poor when I went into her house and stepped on a cigarette, she said, "Who turned off the heater?"

Bums' Dirty Pants

Once upon a time there were these two bums walking down the railroad tracks, and the first bum, Fred, thought he smelled a nasty old smell. He asked his companion, Jeff, ''Did you shit your pants?'' ''Hell no,'' Jeff said. They walked a few more miles and the smell got worse. ''Did you shit your pants, Jeff?'' ''I swear to the God almighty I did not shit my pants,'' Jeff said.
So they walk three more miles and the smell gets just horrible. Fred runs over and pulls down Jeff's pants and says, ''I thought you said you didn't shit your pants?!'' ''I didn't.'' Jeff said. ''They're your pants.''