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The best jokes and joke writers!

Transvestite Sailor and Monica Lewinsky

Q: What's the difference between a transvestite sailor and Monica Lewinsky's wardrobe?

A: When you have a transvestite sailor, you have a dress on a seaman.

Naval Surgeon

"What kind of job do you do?" a lady passenger asked the man sitting next to her on the airplane. "I'm a naval surgeon," he replied. "Goodness!" said the lady, "How you doctors specialize these days!"

Fishing on the Lake

A famous admiral and an equally famous general were fishing together when a sudden squall came up. When it died down both eminent warriors were struggling helplessly in the water. The admiral floundered his way back to the boat and pulled himself painfully in. Then he fished out the general, using an oar. Catching his breath, he puffed: "Please don't say a word about this to anyone. If the Navy found I can't swim I'd be disgraced. "Don't worry," the general said. "Your secret is safe. I'd hate to have my men find out I can't walk on water."

Submarine Humor and Fun

  • Submarines are safer than airplanes. Proof in the fact is there are more airplanes in the water than submarines in the air!
  • Response from a junior (very junior) sonar watchstander "Sonar - Conn, Report all contacts in preparation in coming to periscope depth" "Conn - Sonar, I hold no contacts - how 'bout you..?" "Sonar - Conn, Supervisor to the Conn"
  • QMOW: "Navigator we're on a course for sea mounts." NAV: "Exec we're heading for shallow water." EXEC: " Captain, we're running out of water." CAPT: "What, no water, ...very well, secure the showers."

Did You Hear About The Polish Navy Tragic Accident?

Did you hear about the Polish Navy's tragic accident? A hundred and thirty-seven sailors drowned trying to push-start their new submarine.