Military Jokes - Navy Jokes

General McKenzie was in charge of the Navy, and he was visiting his colleague General Marshall, who was in charge of the Army. McKenzie arrives at the military camp and is greeted by Marshall. They both walk around the place, and McKenzie asks, "So how are your men?"

"Very well trained, Grnl. McKenzie."

"I hope so. You see, my men over at the Navy are so well trained, you could see they're the bravest men all over the country."

"Well, my men are very brave, too."

"I'd like to see that." So Marshall calls Private Johnson and says, "Private Johnson! I want you to stop that tank coming here with your body!"

"Are you crazy? It'd kill me, you idiot! I'm out of here!" As Private Johnson ran away, Marshall turned to a bewildered McKenzie and said, "You see? You have to be pretty brave to talk like that to a general."

Q: What's the difference between a transvestite sailor and Monica Lewinsky's wardrobe?

A: When you have a transvestite sailor, you have a dress on a seaman.

• Submarines are safer than airplanes. Proof in the fact is there are more airplanes in the water than submarines in the air!
• Response from a junior (very junior) sonar watchstander "Sonar - Conn, Report all contacts in preparation in coming to periscope depth" "Conn - Sonar, I hold no contacts - how 'bout you..?" "Sonar - Conn, Supervisor to the Conn"
• QMOW: "Navigator we're on a course for sea mounts." NAV: "Exec we're heading for shallow water." EXEC: " Captain, we're running out of water." CAPT: "What, no water, ...very well, secure the showers."

Did you hear about the Polish Navy's tragic accident? A hundred and thirty-seven sailors drowned trying to push-start their new submarine.

In the army, you have to pay $85 if you lose your rifle.

That’s why in the Navy, the captain goes down with the ship.